Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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