i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize