His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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