She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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