We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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