I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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