She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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