what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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