Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
