So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
