Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
