Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
