Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
