btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize