i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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