i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
