My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
