Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
