Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
