somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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