He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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