is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
