We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
