moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
