I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
