if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
