i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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