just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize