Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
