it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
