i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
