oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
