would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
