Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
