So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
