goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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