good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
