I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
