great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
is it fun? or sober?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
