I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
