with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
