I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
