Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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