We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize