you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Who died my cat blue again?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
