I'll bet she douches with gravy.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
third nipple confirmed
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize