just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
