And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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