May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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