singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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