ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
