I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
