Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
