seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
