it wasn't lemon gatorade
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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