Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
